Summary: Tells the story of the life of the Buddha, his departure and his search. Explains the need for meditation as a necessary and inevitable step for all.

Siddhartha’s father does not want him to leave, he wants him to be near him. Okay, but for how long can He be near him? At the most one can manage this so long as one does not die, so long as death does not come to one of them – till such time they can be together. Either the father dies, or the son dies. Death is inevitable. No one can stop it – this is reality. So long as we are here living we would like to be together. The father wants to be together with his son, near Him, because of the prophecy he is very afraid he will go away.

But Siddhartha goes out one day and he sees sorrow. He sees a leper; he had never seen one before – reality! Then He sees a dead body – death! He had never seen that before, because his father had made sure that if there was anyone dying it would not be near, that he would not hear that there is such a thing as death. But He saw a dead body being carried to the graveyard – reality! It was a tremendous shock to Him. And then He saw a free man, a sādhu, a mendicant. There was a smile on this mendicant’s face, while the other people in the town, in the cities, they were just (laughing) too busy to be happy! So on one side you have the leper and all those aspects of life – the illnesses, the disease, then death finally – reality, and then on the other this Reality, on the face of this man, this free man, this mendicant, this sādhu, this wandering mendicant.

There was tremendous inner turmoil in the future Buddha, so he decided to go away, leave his home and kingdom, leave his wife and six-month old child. He is not an insensitive man – he is a very loving man, he is a very loving father, he is a very loving husband, he is a very loving son. But there is the longing to know, the longing to know the Reality, something more than what ordinarily life can offer. He experiences all that is ordinarily experienced by every man but he is not satisfied, he wants to know the Truth – he wants to have answers. He wants to know if there is more to the reality of life than what everyone ordinarily experiences. He does not want to accept life the way it is at face value just because everybody else has accepted it. He is an extraordinary man with a life’s mission. He is truly exceptional. Nothing can stop Him from his destiny, whatever it may be – wife, child, father, relations, friends, comfort, wealth, luxury, pleasures or kingdom. He is the future Buddha! So that very night, when they are all asleep, Siddhartha walks away – forever, never to come back. Only once does He come back and that too after the awakening, after the enlightenment.

In India there is the tradition – after the awakening the man or the woman comes back once to their family they had left behind, to give them the opportunity to know the Truth through them. So He came back once, and many relatives then followed him to know the Truth through him and they were not disappointed. Reality – there was on one side this reality – Him being a prince, being a husband, being a father, being a son, maybe being a brother, nephew… Relatives, as we all know… ‘Relative’ – it is a reality that is relative; it is changing, it will change one day.

And all the time people are occupied with this reality. And this is not the only life they have done this. So many lives in the past! We have left behind brothers, sisters, husbands, wives and children in the past lives, who are not here now – who we don’t even remember anymore! Many, so many in the past, and probably they do not even belong to the same country. They are probably born somewhere else, maybe even in America, while you are in Italy (laughing) or maybe in India!

Reality – there is a reality which you see, feel, hear, smell, taste – and there is a Reality which you do not see, do not feel, do not hear yet at this moment but which is very much there. So the future Buddha, Siddhartha, went to find out if there was more to the reality than what was available to his senses. So where can He go? Well, if God lives in the White House as some people believe, did he go to America? (Laughing) No, He went from Kapilavastu to Gaya. It is in Bihar, in India. Probably because there was no White House then and neither an America as the world knows it today!

He sat under the Tree; the future famed Bodhi tree, and shut his eyes in the search of truth within. Because where can you go to find the Truth? Where can you go to find God, if not in your own heart? You are the Truth, but you do not know yet… Even in this moment you are the Truth – everyone is that Truth, everything is that Truth. But you need to open your eyes. As Christ said, “If you have eyes to see you shall see, if you have ears to hear you shall hear.” And for that you need a tool. Meditation is that tool, prayer is that tool and to seek for it, to search for it is the objective of life. The objective is not to lose yourself to the changing reality and to ultimately end in death – otherwise you are all the time dying. Each and every moment you are closer to death – each and every moment!

So really, you are preparing to die all the time; when you eat, when you smile, when you cry, when you get married, when you get divorced, you are dying; you are each time getting closer to death. Anything that you do, any time that you spend is bringing you closer to death. You are preparing for dying even when you enjoy your pasta. I know, it is difficult for the Italians to consider this – really even so for me when it comes to pasta! (Laughing) But it is true! And this is how you celebrate life, don’t you? Nice pasta, parmesan, olive oil and you celebrate. There is much which is similar, you know, between the Italians and the Indians – big family, big eating, much talking – they make a lot of noise. (Laughter) Nothing much happens, but there is a lot of noise! And plenty of food! Big family, many relatives, many children, making a lot of noise together; somebody pulling, somebody pushing, somebody crying, little ones crying, someone laughing and all that food being served. A big celebration.

In this kind of celebration who will think about death? But if you think about death you will find Life, eternal life! So meditation is all about understanding death – and therefore Life and Reality.

Meditation is all about understanding the nature of things, the infinite nature of things, the Changeless nature of things, and at the same time the changing nature of things. The Reality at one level is changing; the Reality at another level is not changing. Time and the Timeless make for the complete Reality. Time is the Timeless, Timeless is the time. In your mortality is your Immortality. To come to realise this is meditation. This is the truth about yourself. This is the Truth that is God. So Christ said, “The kingdom of God is in your own heart. Seek and you shall find. Ask and you shall receive. Knock and it shall be opened unto thee.”

Sitting under the future Bodhi tree, the future Buddha, Siddhartha is knocking, seeking, asking… This is meditation. When you meditate, when you sit to meditate you ask, you seek, you knock – you long for it, you yearn for it, you thirst for it, you hunger for it. Siddhartha was hungry for it; he was thirsty for it, deeply longing for it. He cannot stop. He is a beautiful man – so loving, so compassionate, deeply compassionate, so noble – he would have made a wonderful king.

It was said to his father that if Siddhartha remained at home he would become a great king. But if He sees sorrow – the other side of life – you will not be able to stop him from going away in search of enlightenment and then he will become a great Teacher. And so today the world knows Him as the Buddha, the enlightened one, the compassionate one. If you were to see Him you would feel his compassion because he could see and feel other people’s sorrow – although he himself had no sorrow. He is a prince and his father made sure he experienced no sorrow because of the prophecy – of course not all the princes are so happy. He has a beautiful wife, a six-month old child, he is only twenty-nine years of age and in the prime of his youth, he has all life ahead of him… He wakes up to music, he goes to sleep with music, dance – movies, surround-sound, (laughing) and of course plenty of pasta!

You can see the contrast – see how much thirst there must be in Him, built over lifetimes of course! When He goes out he sees other people’s unhappiness – not his own. How many people will go away for the other’s sake? For Him the other’s sorrow is his sorrow. He feels it as his own.

That is why He is a World Teacher – He goes for the world! He does not go for himself. Really He sees no difference between himself and the world.

It is the same with Christ. That is why it is said, “The Father so loved the world that He gave His own son, sacrificed His own son for the sake of the world.” It means the same thing. Because they, in their nature, see and feel others like themselves. They have great compassion in their hearts.

So that night the future Buddha walks away. He asks his charioteer to saddle up his horse. His charioteer who was with him from childhood thinks, ‘Oh! He is a prince, if in the middle of the night he wants to go out for horse riding – fine, who am I to question?’ He cannot even imagine the real reason why Siddhartha wants a ride in the middle of the night. Before He leaves he enters his princely chamber. His wife is asleep and Rahula, his six-month old child is in her arms. He walks in one last moment; he wants to see them before he goes away, because he does not know whether he will ever see them again. He is going never to come back, never to see them again. It is a very, very special moment, very touching. He comes close to the bed, looks down on their faces. They are asleep – they do not know what is happening. They are at peace, sleeping, content, waiting for the morning, for the new day to dawn. But for the future Buddha there is no peace. There is only this thirst, this wanting to know, this hunger. At the same time there is all this affection and love, for He is a deeply loving man. It is a very, very special moment in the life of Siddhartha. To understand Siddhartha, the Buddha, to understand this moment is very important.

There is no conflict in His heart. ‘Should I go, should I not go?’ – No conflict. It is not a matter of choice for the Buddha – his choice is his destiny calling him. There is only one choice for Him; otherwise the world would not have the Buddha. With His destiny is attached the destiny of the world. So He cannot be staying there. The world’s destiny is itself leading Siddhartha away from his near and dear ones. The whole of existence is begging Him. God and Reality are making Him leave home!

One last moment He looks down upon their faces, thanks them for being with him all this while in life – he does not know if he will ever see them again – for all those beautiful moments together. In His heart he makes a request – that they may understand why he is gone. And so He walks away. Gets on His horse and out he goes into the forest with his attendant. And when He is gone far away, he gets down from the horse, takes off all the jewellery and the princely attire. His attendant is shocked at what is happening – ‘Why is He removing all this?’ The attendant loved Him very much for he had known him from childhood and he was such a lovable person. Siddhartha hands everything over to him – “Here is my horse, here is all the princely attire.” And He puts on just one cloth covering his upper body, one cloth covering his lower body. “Please, go home and let everyone know. I cannot come back for I go to seek my destiny. My destiny lies elsewhere.”

It is a very poignant moment. If you can imagine, it is the destiny of the world which is joined to His leaving home – such an important moment for humanity, for the welfare of humanity, for the evolution of humanity. Otherwise millions of people are dying. Many of them leave the world, and worse than when they found it – even if it be prime-ministers and presidents, they can make such a mess of this world! They have the power to do good. Even in them there lives that Truth – the truth of God, the truth of the Self, the truth that is the Truth – but they do not know it. “Forgive them, my Father, for they know not what they do”… But they know – I say, they know! (Laughing) So they need a good beating! George Bush knows very well why he is in Iraq – for reasons other than what they profess – oil, contracts, strategic hegemony and control, personal vendetta, etc.

And he puts up an innocent pretence for the world. Of course it is for the good of the world – for democracy, for saving the Iraqi people, and not for reasons from which he and his country would profit at the expense of others! The American people are impressed and vote him again into power – because the world is filled with intelligent people! (Great laughter) And Americans – they are very intelligent – they know they are gods. Every American is a god into and unto himself and herself. And the rest of the world is an opportunity for them to do charity. So they are all the time doing charity to the rest of the world because their religion says, ‘Do charity to the poor and the ignorant.’ So the rest of the world is ignorant. America is God’s own country – Hallelujah! Anyway let’s leave ‘god’ Bush and come back to the Buddha, the enlightened one.

If you can imagine, visualise these moments of the future Buddha. They touch you in the heart – it is very special. It is for all humanity, nay for all life. He is like a spearhead for the shaft that is the world, leading it forward in its evolution. There are occasions, moments in the world’s evolution when there are these special moments, when through an individual, the whole of the world, the whole of humanity evolves, is lifted and exalted.

His attendant by now is in tears and cannot go back without him, for, “How will I face your father, the king? What will I say to him? Nothing will make him understand this. Why are you doing this? What has come over you? What has happened to you? This morning I took you out into the cities and the towns and the villages, and I saw this change come upon you and from a charming, smiling young man you have become a thoughtful and a sorrowful man and I see deep sadness in your eyes. Your constant beautiful smile has vanished as if forever. You have this look in your eyes, this longing as if you are looking somewhere else. Please don’t do this, give up this foolishness and come back with me.” But He is gone. Physically he is there standing facing him, but he, the future Buddha is not there. He is already gone. Nothing can stop Him!

These moments touch the heart. Therefore the Buddha touched the heart of all and even now continues to touch the hearts of whosoever has the heart. The heart is awakened – it brings the same longing, and meditation is easily done. Siddhartha walks away into the forest. He walks miles and miles, miles and miles in the night, so that the father may not send his army to capture him, take him back – he walks all night. And He has no sleeping bag, no tent. (Laughing again) Nothing of the kind. Just one cloth, simple cotton cloth, covering the top of the body and one cotton dhoti, covering His lower body – and himself! He walks, continues to walk and walk and walk… And spends six years in intense search, with thought of nothing else – with thought of nothing else! And one day He decides, “This is it! I am going to sit under this tree in meditation and I will not get up until I know the Truth.” The moment has arrived – Siddhartha is to become the Buddha. The tree is going to bear fruit; the lotus is going to bloom.

He sat under the tree – which today is called the Bodhi tree, and the place where he attained enlightenment is called Bodhgaya after him. Because of Him, the tree and the place both have been immortalised. The place already was an ancient pilgrimage for the Indian people, called Gaya. In a secluded place, sat the determined Siddhartha under a tree which even before the enlightenment of the Buddha was considered a special tree and worshipped by the Indian people for aeons and aeons, and Siddhartha’s enlightenment only confirmed their ancient faith in that tree. It is the Aśwattha in Sanskrit or commonly the Peepal, and after the Buddha’s awakening it is also called the Bodhi tree – the tree under which the Buddha attained to enlightenment. He sat there with his eyes shut. He is not going to open them again, “I am not going to get up. Either I will pass away in the search of the Truth or I will find it.”

He found It – Siddhartha became the Buddha, the awakened one, the enlightened one. He sat there for six days in the joy of realisation – realisation of the truth of things. After six days He got up. And in Sarnath near Varanasi, Kashi, He gave his first Sermon. Siddhartha, the Buddha had become the World Teacher. He travelled for many long years teaching and giving.

Once, He comes back home after enlightenment, knocks on the door of the palace gates, and all the people are happy and shocked at the same time “That is our friend, standing there! But He has very long hair, dreadlocks. He is wearing the saffron, the robes of a mendicant, and has a begging bowl in his hand.” They immediately ran to inform the king, “Your son has come, our beloved Siddhartha is here!” But they do not realise as yet, He is not Siddhartha anymore – He is the Buddha. His father comes running – Siddhartha’s wife just behind him – and Rahula, his son who is now over six years old. Buddha is untouched, he does not go, ‘My son, my wife, my father,’ even though having been away from them for so long! He is at peace. For Him everyone is dear. His love for them is not reduced – it has transformed into the love that is divine, into love that is enlightened.

His father wants to know, “Where have you been, my son?” His father cannot see that there is a change come upon his son, an inner change. He only sees the external change, and he is in a state of shock, the father. Again and again he keeps asking Him, “Why are you looking like a beggar? You are a prince! You do not need to beg. This kingdom belongs to you. Come and rule, my son! Where have you been? Six years we have been waiting for you.” To the Buddha these words held no significance, no meaning. “Father,” He said, “if I was born a prince I would rule. I was born a beggar so I am a beggar, a mendicant beggar.” What He is saying is, his kingdom is different to his father’s kingdom. “My kingdom is of the heaven” – this is also what Christ said – “My Father, Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on this earth as it is in heaven.”

So Buddha has found that heaven, while his relatives are still where they were before – that is the only reality they know, they do not know anything more than that. They are occupied by that, they are possessed by that. They cannot see anything more than that. They only see so much and nothing more. Therefore people could not recognise Christ. So they crucified Him – because they were possessed by this reality in such a way that it makes them ignorant of the completeness of the Reality – of the light that is Truth! Many even feel threatened. Of course, the people did not crucify the Buddha – I think one crucifixion for the world is enough! Although Simon Peter also got crucified – upside down. And Buddha invites his family to follow him. And many followed Him – followed him in the search of this Truth, that which he had found.

So meditation is a search, a search for that Truth – the truth about yourself, the truth about all things. It is a life-long pursuit. Meditation is to discover the truth about yourself, the truth about Reality, the truth about existence, the truth about all things – the truth about life, the truth about death, the truth about who you are and why you are here – and to be able to live that Truth through all your actions, so that the Truth may be living and not dead. Meditation is not only faith, meditation is also understanding. Faith gives you the strength to understand. Faith gives you the strength to continue to understand. Faith is a strength that gives you strength when you have no faith! And there will be many moments in your meditation, especially in the beginning when you will have no faith. That is why it is called faith – (laughing) it is a strength that gives you strength when you have no strength. That is faith!

Meditation is a journey, a journey of yourself, a journey of life that will not end in death, but in immortal life, eternal life.

It is easier to hear about meditation than to do it! That is also reality. That is why they say, ‘Have faith’ – and that is why faith has a place! The Buddha had amazing faith – he did not know what he was getting into. He did not have anyone to show him how to meditate, what to look for, how to look for – he had no teacher to guide him, he had no guide. It is like somebody taking a leap into the ocean blindfolded, not knowing what is at the bottom. All kinds of things may come grabbing at your heels, your toes… He just makes the jump; he takes the leap – tremendous faith. So meditation is a leap of faith. Everyone has to make this jump – the sooner, the better! There is no choice – this is what I am trying to say! You can delay – that is all you can do. To delay taking the medicine means longer suffering. (Laughing) So it is better to take the medicine straight away. Of course the problem is that you live under the illusion that you are not suffering! (Great laughter)

There is a very nice example Ramakrishna gives. The camel – He gives the example of the camel. It lives in the desert and in the desert there are all these thorny bushes and trees – that is all there is in the desert. So he chews on these thorny bushes and trees and he enjoys it, he feels the taste. He does not know where this taste is coming from. Really, it is from himself but he thinks it is in the things he is chewing because they are thorns. When he chews on the thorns it causes his mouth to wound and bleed, and it is from this blood that he gets the taste. He thinks the taste is in the thorns but in reality it is he who is losing blood and what is blood if not life. He is losing his life every time he chews but in his ignorance he still continues for the sake of the taste which really is of his own blood. The people therefore are deluded in their ignorance and continue to be, for they know not the Truth. This is what Ramakrishna is saying. It is very significant – this is the nature of life now. (Laughing) Ultimately the wounds will become so big that he will die one day. Of course, you will say you are lucky you are not a camel – but if you watch life and the world really objectively, you will understand the significance of this story. But even to understand the significance of the story requires meditation!

Meditation is to look into life, into things, look inside them. This is not taught by societies, at homes, in schools… You only see the surface. To open the eye, to see more than what you see now – this is meditation. In life people spend all the time looking out. The only time they close their eyes is when they sleep. But in meditation you close your eyes so you may open them. And you will notice, even in everyday life, that you see something – and yet you have not seen everything. So you are not seeing enough. That is why enlightened people are called Seers – they can see! Ordinarily people have their eyes open but they do not see. The Seers have their eyes shut and they see!

Arya Vihar

19 Jul 2005