Summary: Elucidates on the obstacles to meditation and explains that a constant inner centring and detachment even during activity is essential to arrive at silence; further explains that watching should result in understanding. Cautions against struggling with the Teacher because it is self-defeating for the sadhak.

There are two seeming obstacles to meditation. First is the agitation of the mind – the restlessness, the agitation – vitality in flux. If at that level we have made room, it is easy to settle within ourselves, easy for meditation. The second is lethargy – sleepiness, indolence – inertia. And these two come up as you try to meditate and be with yourself.

Of course the force continues to work while agitation is, sleepiness is. But the question is, how to be in meditation? Through practice of course: learning to create a distance within yourself from all that is agitation and to be able to be present even in moments of sleepiness.

You cannot do without your vitality and you cannot do without sleep; they are part of nature’s workings. And they are the first ones to rise as you sit to try for meditation. Or you may pass through periods when you have good sittings, good meditations, but they may be of short intervals while the agitation and sleepiness may continue for days. Meditation churns up things in the being, like when a lake is being churned up it brings up all the things from the bottom – but then it settles down, and like the lake the being is calm again. You are fine, and there is no botheration so long as you do not sit for meditation, but the moment you try to sit these things come up.

It is part of your meditation to work under such conditions. Everyone in the past also had to work under these conditions. It is common to all – so one works progressively with them in meditation. You can start with short periods of time and then increase the time of the sittings gradually – and this you can do even when you are by yourself. Of course an awakened presence is helpful because the awakened force of that awakened presence works for you – and yet that very force will bring up a lot of agitation, will bring up your whole personality in front of you – you have to work with them, through them and go beyond. It is like an intense programme – that is what happens in the presence of an awakened one. Everything comes up very rapidly. That which would take many lifetimes is being done in one lifetime.

Meditation is not over during the other times when you are not sitting. When you are moving about, working, cooking, eating, sleeping, walking, relating, talking – these moments are also given to you to be able to become conscious of yourself: coming to an awareness of yourself, your motives, your hows and whys of action, the reasons behind what you speak, what you do. You have to create a distance every time within yourself from all that which moves – thoughts, feelings and sensations. You have to be an objective witness. Even in your work – in all activities, you have to start to learn to watch as you work. All this of course takes time to effect, but from the very beginning itself you have to remind yourself to be aware in your workings, creating a distance within yourself from what you express. To come to a centring within yourself, poise in yourself. To be able to be free within from all that which you do; not to be bound to your feelings, to your emotions, to your ideas and concepts – to practice detachment. You have to discover it in yourself. Even when you hear, let it pass through you. You hear, you listen – but can you be free in your listening and not be conditioned by it? Because when you are conditioned by it you take possession of it and it takes possession of you… It binds you.

But really all the problems are solved when the knot in the heart opens – and it is for that reason that we concentrate in the heart. And it is like surrendering yourself, offering yourself even when you work. It is like each time letting go of every act, every movement, every feeling – every thought. It requires a lot of perseverance; it requires endurance. Sadhana is endurance. Enduring yourself, enduring the forces in the world – in the universe. Enduring relationships, the impact a situation or an event may have upon you. You have to go beyond reactions, it is then that you find the true action. You have to go beyond the compulsions of your impulses, your urges, your desires, your reactions – not until then can you really truly find what meditation is.

Meditation is to be at ease with oneself and with the whole universe. And it comes, it starts to come – from how you live it starts to happen. But it does not mean that you sit back and expect it to arrive without putting in your work, your effort. Your attitude is important – your attitude in what you do. Your attitude to where you are. Your attitude to where you have to reach. To be able to take the whole of your life and mould it towards meditation, this would be the right attitude to have. It is then that the transformation starts to happen. Every moment is precious – and those moments can be any: moving ones or sitting ones, working ones or playing ones.

When you start to find those silent spaces within yourself, you are starting to arrive at meditation. Until such time, we continue to work with ourselves and we help others work with themselves. For not only are we individuals but so also are we part of the sangha, part of the group; and so as a group, as a collective also we work – and finally as the whole universe.

To reach to meditation is to open out, to widen out. And truly this opening and widening comes from giving. That is why there has been so much emphasis on giving. Giving is letting go. Even when you hold something you are free of it – this is how your experience must be. Then you have arrived at meditation. Then you can sit for hours! And yet when you move you are still in meditation.

And it is important to watch the kind of forces that rise within you, then you will be able to be aware of the forces that play about outside, because there are all kinds of forces that start to get stirred up during meditation – forces that help on the journey and forces that try to bring you down. That is why so much emphasis is always given on vigilance, on alertness to everything – to your feelings, your emotions, your thoughts – because there are all kinds of forces that get stirred up. We can continue to watch but not understand what they are, where they come from, where they end up. Therefore active watching is required and not passive watching. Watching should result in understanding. This is active watching.

And that is what Buddha calls the first stage of meditation – analysis. To watch and reach to analysis is the first stage of meditation: in what way these forces rise; what is the nature of these forces, what is their quality; from which level do they rise – and where they lead. You have to go beyond all smallness, pettiness, and selfishness. They come up, they come as identities – you have to go beyond all identity to find the new, true identity. And it is not a part-work that needs to be done – it must be complete! You can work with yourself partially and you may have partial experiences; but if you really want to arrive completely then every corner will have to be lit. And for that one will have to go beyond oneself, every time, every moment, beyond every thought we consider our own, beyond every feeling we consider our own. It is a space you arrive at, a space of freedom – an inner freedom, liberation. And it is then that life takes on a new meaning; it brings about transformation, it brings insight – insight into the Truth.

You awaken – then you awaken the inner guru, the inner master who dwells in your heart. And that guru, that master will lead you to your completeness. And that is why extreme vigilance is required – otherwise we may take anything as the word of the inner guru and go off the true track! So one has to be very, very aware. That is why the alertness and the vigilance. Watching and learning from experience as you go along and growing wiser – therefore to be able to recognise the true inner guru. Until such time you require the ‘same one’ outside – but then you must be receptive to the one outside. If you continue to struggle and resist the Guru, how can there be progress? And yet, there is always room for inquiry. But to fight with Him is to fight against your true Self – you defeat your own purpose, your own growth, and He will always win, She will always win. And it is better that He always wins – for if you were to win you would truly lose – because he sees further. So one must turn to Him with the faith of learning from him. Rebel against that which is darkness; turn towards that which is light. But if you were to rebel against light you would only turn towards darkness – and that is why the Master, the Teacher is required until such time as the light is lit in your own heart and you find the same master in your own heart.

He guides you not because he seeks something from you – he guides because that is his essential nature. For He seeks the same joy and light in you as he found in himself. Of course in the bargain He has to meet with (laughing) many of those moments when he would rather be elsewhere! So He truly gives of himself. He does no business with you, no barter. He only seeks one thing from you and that is that you may grow in light, and that you put in the work required. His patience is phenomenal, like the ocean – know that where there is patience there is light. And yet even if He were to show impatience it is only so that you may hurry towards the light.

So what is important is your attitude. You need not even sit then: meditation will arrive – because automatically a certain attitude merits you with grace in the eye of God and the presence of the Master will work so much more easily and effectively.

(In a light mood now)

See how serious it has got… You should sit at this side and have a look! The fierce looks – it is quite a sadhana sitting on this side and being faced with such fierceness… You never know when somebody may get up and beat you up – that is always the worry behind. And then you start working overtime in your head trying to devise techniques! That is how techniques are invented – it is because of these fierce looks: (laughing) how to get them to meditate?

Then one has thoughts like, ‘Hey, I was better off in California just roaming around being a hippie…’

Pb.: So was I… (Everyone laughs)

Maybe I am picking up on your thought! Of course meditation is serious business for sure. And the question is – how to break free?

(Lightly sings)

So we live in hope,

that we may have the strength to cope.

Somehow we seem to be bound up by a rope –

and yet we live in hope!

Arya Vihar

12 Apr 1996