Summary: Discusses the importance of a constant attention on the breath and how it leads to being conscious of oneself. Explains the love Radha had towards Krishna and how such a loss of identity in love is in fact no loss at all.

Do you ever consider – think about your attention?

Now your attention is turned to me – I must be very attractive… So in a way whatever is attractive, that is where your attention is. But then what is attractive (laughter) is not necessarily good for you to expend your attention on. And again, it is all relative – but hopefully in our relativity we will move on to something greater, we will move on to becoming something more, keep growing. And for that you must know where your attention is and you must know why. Meditation is all about attention; attention is all about being conscious. When you know where your attention is and why, then you are being conscious. It feels good to have all this attention! (Laughter) But in your giving your attention, are you losing yourselves, losing your self-awareness? So where should your attention be – which will bring you to yourself?

But then the question is, what is yourself? How do you define yourself?

Your attention is your energy; it is you! You can see for yourselves that where your attention is, there you are completely. Of course how total can you be in your attention depends on how attractive is the object of your attention. You always attend on things outside you; it seems like you are not attractive to yourself. And yet you are living for yourself! In your being attracted, in turning your attention outward, it pleases you; it is a pleasure – have you considered? Therefore it implies that you are not pleasing to yourself – so your attention is always out – or you take yourself for granted, or something is more attractive to you than your own self. When you find meditation in yourself, then your attention has found its rightful place. You cannot keep your attention on yourself for too long. Say for example, if I were to say, ‘Attend on your breath’ – can you keep it there? To attend to the breath for example is a way to develop the power of attention, besides being an exercise in bringing you to watchful self-awareness. You can see that when you are more attentive you always do better – whatever you do – proportionate to the degree of attentiveness.

Your attention is your power – and you are not even aware of it. Your attention is your awareness of being conscious. To be attentive is to be conscious, is to be aware, is to be present. To be present is to be your Self. And you are ever present – this is the truth. You are always in the here-and-now; there is never a moment when you are not. And yet it is because of your attention not being present that you do not know this. How to awaken this kind of attention – that is the question. For that – the answer is meditation. We come back to what we were talking about yesterday: the importance of meditation. And meditation is not just sitting; meditation is the whole of your life. Meditation is life – truly you find life when you have meditation. You have the Heaven and you have the Earth – not only Heaven – but Earth too, life here in a heavenly way. Time is unimportant; time will take care of itself. What is important is your commitment, your conviction – your attention. How to awaken this attention? Well, one way is to get Pg. to sing – I am sure you will all become very attentive…

(To Pg.): Are you going to sing today?

You know enlightened people are always talking about awareness – but what is the difference between what they are talking about and what is ordinarily experienced? They talk about being conscious, but you are conscious; then what is the difference? They keep insisting on this. Is there a difference in terms of their being conscious and your being conscious – there must be a difference – in their awareness and your awareness? You are also aware, are you not? Of course there may be every so often an occasion when you forget or you are unaware of something, but you are conscious – your eyes are open and you see things and you feel things. They also see things and feel things – why do they continue to insist on awareness and being conscious and this attention? To emphasise, they even pick up for example a stone and say, ‘Watch’ – as if it were something very profound… But you do it all the time, and yet you feel nothing special about it. So there must be a difference in the way they see and you see. For us the difference lies in the awakening, awakening of the force. But you have to begin somewhere, so you begin with attention; you begin with sadhana, practice – discipline.

Sadhana is discipline in the sense that, whether you like this word or not, you are in a way disciplined; you come and sit for meditation daily, regularly. You may sleep through it, you may suffer through it, but you continue – something keeps you there. And you hope one day to be like this fellow whom you seem to be so attracted to.

So I say, attend on your breath. Breathing the way we have shown – and keep your attention there. That is what the Buddha used to get his people to do all the time – to watch the breath – while they were walking, sitting, eating, etc. – and then a time would come when it would start to happen even while they were sleeping. Eventually you get to this kind of awareness. See how attentive you are right now; it seems to be effortless. Something is pulling you to my words, to me. But you try it on your own to be attentive on your breath or something else when you are sitting by yourself – it is not easy. Right now you are mesmerised – and that can be dangerous, for you lose yourself. And if you were to lose yourself it must be only to gain yourself. Like Christ said, “Give up life that you may find eternal life.”

(To M.): How was Tai chi yesterday? Were they very attentive or average or less than average or not at all? How would you rate it? (Laughter)

M.: They were very attentive; it is so different. They were really trying.

It is fine. We will see how long this attention lasts… Were they attentive because it is something new, this is the thing to be seen. Something is attractive because it is new. It draws your attention, you are interested, it draws your interest. But after a while the interest fades away, the newness fades away and the attention is no more. Then you seek another attraction and the attention is shifted.

So if somebody says, ‘Attend to your breath,’ initially, okay, you manage to attend to your breath, but after a while a thought here, a memory there, something or the other and the attention is no more where it was supposed to be.

It is good to watch all this, you become conscious about the play of attention; learn to see this. In that way you become more conscious, more aware of how your attention can move about – meaning how you move about – and what you are attentive of. And behind that attention there is always something – for example your motives, your feelings, and of course yourself. Understand yourself through your attention. Because you could be attentive to something while another need not be attentive to the same thing but to something else. You have your own rhythm – your personality, your attractions and your distractions, your uniqueness. Be aware of it. This is part of knowing yourself.

Pb.: Does Radha not lose herself in Krishna? Is she not mesmerised by Him?

To lose yourself so that you may find yourself. If you lose yourself to the Divine, you become divine; while if you lose yourself to the mundane, you find the mundane – you become mundane.

You can choose! The choice is yours.

Radha loses herself, but finds herself in Krishna. Krishna is divinity. Radha and Krishna become one. In Vrindavan Radha is remembered because of her selfless and total love, her complete devotion, ultimate surrender and oneness with Krishna. Therefore remembering Radha is the same as remembering Krishna.

Pb.: But in the moment of losing herself is she self-aware?

Because she loses herself to That which is the very embodiment of awareness – that is the difference. Through losing herself to the Divine she arrives at the Reality not only outside herself but also within herself, in her own subjective existence, wherein is also self-awareness.

Pb.: So it is enough to rest the attention on the Guru (everyone laughs) – if that attention is to Radha’s extent.

Yes, if by attention you mean to be in sync and in tune with Him and not just resting your physical sight on him, burdened and weary. To be attentive unconditionally. And anyway, how many can even come close to the loving attention of Radha’s, leave alone equal it? It is asking for the moon and the sun. I do not want to be inflated in my ego being attractive to so many!

Pb.: If it can be helpful to somebody…

Well, if it can be helpful I am all for it. But I do raise this question sometimes, how helpful can it be, (laughing) since it is so rare, this selfless Radha-like love and attention! Anyway are you not finally supposed to kill the Buddha?

Pb.: Later, no?

How much later?

Pb.: Well, Radha never did kill Krishna, did she?

No. That is a different game…

Pb.: Right. But here are we Buddhists or what?

Well, formerly you were very fond of the Buddhist way…

Pb.: I am talking about here and now, Giridharji.

(Laughter) But in a way Radha did the same, you see: Krishna got dissolved, finished, at least in name. In Vrindavan it is all Radha – just like killing the Buddha. Nobody calls out to Krishna in Vrindavan, they call out to Radha. Through her love, through her devotion she remained – Krishna disappeared. Nay, conversely, she disappeared and Krishna alone remained. Either way is true because in love where one is the other is also. There is no difference left between the two. They dissolve in each other, resolve in each other.

And in the case of Ramakrishna when Totapuri would tell him to meditate, every time he would see the Mother. Then He himself, as he puts it, with the sword of knowledge cut her in two – the final act! Meaning He goes beyond the form. Of course, here we are talking about the first steps really; the final act is a long way as yet.

So attention on the breath – it is a way that leads to meditation, to self-awareness – awakening. By self-awareness we mean to awaken to a quality of awareness that is special. It is the awakening of your consciousness to something tremendously radical. So Buddha constantly reminded his people to practice keeping their attention on the breath.

There is a way of attention, to be there, attending and yet being relaxed. There is no tension; there is only attention. And we add to it by breathing in this special way at the same time – that helps the attention because you are doing and at the same time you are attending. So your faculties, the two faculties, one which is static, the one of attention, and the other which is dynamic, the one of doing, are both at work. It makes you more alert. There is then more energy.

Make it your religion.

All religions begin from here. Those which do not end up becoming dogma.

From the attention on the breath together with the working of the breath, the rhythmic working of the breath, you draw yourself in to yourself, the Heart as it were, the centre of your existence, the doorway that leads you to yourself – so much more than which you presently experience yourself to be.

Begin. Value it; it is your most valuable commission cum possession.

Panchmadhi

23 Jan 2000