Summary: Speaks of the conflict between life and God and explains how life itself must be held sacred; emphasises that the first priority is to find the Kingdom of God – it is better to lose life than lose God. Teaches the importance of forbearance and trust in the difficult moments; tells various stories of Judas, Hanuman and Chaitanya Mahaprabhu to illustrate trust, intensity and faith. Emphasises that love of God and our relationship with Him is paramount, above all else.

Why is God not seen in life?

Why can we not have God and life?

Why is God in conflict with life?

This is how we understand of God and life…

I can understand life being in conflict with God. But can God be in conflict with life? Where does life come from if not from God? In life you can forget God. But can you in God forget life? Can you forget life in God? Rather, that life is sanctified – it is then that you discover life as sacredness. Now it seems God is in conflict with life, therefore when we seek God, we turn away from life. That does not mean that when I say to be in life you forget God! Life can be in conflict with God, but God cannot be in conflict with life. And if one can find this, wherein every moment of our life is in God… It is because life makes you forget God that you find God in conflict with life. But it is not God that is in conflict with life; it is you who cannot hold both God and life. We either have life or we have God, or the thought of God. Because when you have God you will find life also, eternal life. You will have heaven upon this earth. And in the intensity of that search for God we inevitably denigrate, degenerate life – degrade life – we turn against it. Neither am I saying to turn to it in such a way that you forget God. In life we either forget God or in God we forget life. It is this way now.

For us God is in conflict with life, and life is in conflict with God. It is because we do not have that consciousness yet, wherein we can see life as God and God as life, when we can hold all life in sacredness. Now it is all conflict. We do not perceive the sacredness in life – therefore it is in conflict. There is war within our being. There is no room to have the thought of God and life together. On one side there is life, on the other there is God. That means God is devoid of life, that means God is on one side and life on the other and can never be in harmony together. Then why did life ever come into being? Then God cannot be the creator of this creation, this life.

Yes, what is important is how one should live that one never forgets God, ultimately to find Him, Her, It, in every moment and in every part of our being. To find Him in the flowing waters, to find Her in the wind-blown trees, to see It in every movement… Then you find God is in you and you are in God. And life is in God and God is in life.

God is not just up in the heavens: God is also upon this earth. Where does this earth come from if not from His being? Nay, this very earth is His very being! In this very body is the dwelling of God. Your body is the earth, and the soul of the earth is God, just as the soul within your body is God. Of course it needs to be experienced. So you seek and you seek – and in your seeking, because of this intensity, you may spend all your time and it may seem that you give no importance to life – that is another thing altogether.

What we are speaking of is this understanding. Because when you find this insight, this sight, this God-sight, then you find that all life is godly. It is in the ignorance of the human consciousness that it cannot see but when that same consciousness evolves to be divine then it sees. It is just under the surface, all it needs is to take the surface away and there it is. Let it come through. Then it is all love, it is all sacredness, it is all divine. So to enter into that consciousness – that feels, breathes, sees, tastes, and is constantly in touch with Reality, which is God – wherein is life, too! That is when you perceive and live the Eternal, what seems now to be the finite, the limited. It is then that your whole life is in sacredness. To raise our eyes to know this is what prayer is. To raise our life to be able to live that is prayer. So first it begins with remembrance: every act, every thought is a prayer unto That, unto Him, unto Her, unto It. What is He not, what is She not? It is all things and yet more.

So God is not in conflict with life. Yes, in the human existence in life, one can be in conflict with God. What one is to seek, if one is to find God, is to live therefore in such a manner that you arrive at a life in God and God in life. This is eternal life. And it is not just up in the heavens but on this very earth too, walking in this very body in the footsteps of time. Then you see, you really see – all is sacredness. There is no hypocrisy, for there is no conflict. Now it is a struggle because the human consciousness is ignorant. However it may perceive itself to know, it knows not – because it sees in a limited manner and yet gloats over its knowing. It is arrogant. But the arrogance is no more when you see in God; the arrogance drops. And yet there is a power in you, the power of God. Then you see completely. The same arrogance that was before an ignorant fool is now an energy in the hands of God, a power of God.

So we have to reach within our being. Where is God, if not in our being – in all beings? And yet most times so difficult to see, because the being is covered over with layers and layers of ignorance. Now your being knows through ignorance, therefore the arrogance that one knows; but really one knows not. It is only when you stand naked in the face of God that you truly see. That is why it was said, ‘Listen to your heart and not to your mind.’ But which heart? Not the sentimental emotional heart – it may begin from there, but it can make mistakes. It is the deeper heart, the heart that knows the Divine. So when all your works have turned to prayer – a prayer is a deep profound feeling – then is born in you this deep heart. For prayer can be found in any condition – sitting, standing, walking, lying down, working, laughing, you come in contact with this heart, the sacred heart.

It is the utter simplicity in you that will find this insight into God.

That is why I say, listen to the heart, the deeper heart, for the mind has arrogance – not all minds have arrogance, of course.

The mind is usually considering itself to be clever. And you are convinced that the mind is right, that ‘I am right,’ for ‘I am the mind.’ This is how the identification is. But God lives behind the mind. And that is when prayer is born.

Therefore so much importance was given to humility. But then what is humility? Is it something that is external? It is again a deeper feeling in your being. It is born with this love of God; they live together. The rest is only rituals to reach to it. It is when your heart melts and you start to love all things that you have found true humility. And it does not mean of course that you cannot pull a few ears here and there of those who consider themselves to be smart without being smart!

So let prayer be born in your heart. So listen to your heartbeat. And then you shall see that life is not in conflict with God. It is just that life occupies you now in such a way that you cannot remember Him, that is all. It is our incapacity that prevents us to see that life and God are not in conflict. You are either with life or with the thought of God. But when you truly find God you find all life in it, and in all life, God – the sacredness and the oneness. Then even when you yet live, you rejoice in your being, in God.

So, to turn to concentration: when you concentrate in the thought of God you keep life outside, otherwise it preoccupies you. And when you are out there in action, in life, it preoccupies you, it holds you – you do not remember God. Therefore it is a conflict. Your mind now can only hold one or the other. But when you find your being free in God you will find life to be truly in His being. It is a process of discovery of course.

This is evolution: this is arriving at the divinity of your being, a greater capacity to hold infinity in the palm of your hands. That is why I say, in this very seemingly limited body to walk the footsteps of God in time. This is what life is reaching out to. That is why the dictum, “First find ye the kingdom of God, then all things shall be added unto thee.” Because now when we are preoccupied with life and its movements and its expressions it keeps us from remembering God. So first find ye the kingdom of God… That is, you offer the whole of your being first: in concentration, in surrender, in totality, that you may open out in Him and then, through Him, into life – eternal life… Then all things shall be added unto thee.

How much capacity does one have to hold life and God together? Life has begun with life and then through time, through evolution, through all the superstitions, fear and paranoia came the thought of God: something superior, someone superior. From there followed the preoccupation with the thought to its ultimate conclusion, and the discovery of God – and then from there – living life in God. As much capacity as one has to be able to live life in God, that much one has entered deep into the consciousness of God – God consciousness. It is only then that one starts to understand the Reality. The rest of the time life is only fooling itself. Life fools itself to whatever degree, and yet considers itself to be wise. That is the arrogance, that is ignorance.

So there is a question: is our bowl so small that we cannot hold life and God together? Or is it that the thought of God is so strong, so intense that there is no more room for the thought of life? Like, for the Buddha, when he walked away. There was no other thought than to seek the Truth. His bowl was filled with this seeking and there was room for nothing else. With Him, his seeking takes him away from life. With Krishna, he is finding it in life all the time. The two are not necessarily in conflict; it is the way it is – each one to his nectar, according to their nature and temper and person. And yet Krishna divinised his life, turned it sacred through its many-sidedness and multi-expressions.

One could say if life keeps you from remembering God, it is better to give up life, that life – better to remember God alone. Because when you have God you shall see that you have life too. But when you have only life then you could forget God. And therein is the arrogance. So, “First find ye the kingdom of God and all things shall be added unto thee” – the dictum given by Christ.

I would say, keep pushing towards this intensity while you yet play in life, whenever life allows you to play with it. Many a time you would like to play with life and life would not and does not allow you to play with it. You may find it busy elsewhere, preoccupied with something else. When you have found life to be a freedom song, then truly are you in rapture while you hold God in your being. It is then that it is ecstasy.

So the heart – that is why Christ told Judas, “Listen to your heart, Judas, and not to your mind.” The heart that lives in God will never fool you but the mind can fool you because in the foolishness of the mind one becomes arrogant. That is the arrogance of ‘I know’, but in the heart it is ‘I love’ – how can it ever be arrogant? Love is on the opposite side to arrogance. When you know through that love, that is real insight. Then it also takes over the mind. And in that mind insight and vision is born.

So of course, since you are saying yes to life, do not forget God! It is better to remember God and forget life, than to be with life and forget God – for when you find God you will find life. But if you were to seek only life you will lose both – for life otherwise ends in death. But when you find God, even though you kept life aside, you find eternal life; then there is no death. You will have arrived at that seeing which finds life in its very being. Therefore, “First find ye the kingdom of God then all things shall be added unto thee.”

But then the question comes: what happens when you do not feel your heart? Who to listen to then? Then I say, be patient, be in waiting while you continue to probe your heart, dig into your heart and seek in your being. This is tapas. This is honest labour, this is sadhana. The work never stops – this work of seeking. Really then is the true test of your being, that even when you do not feel, as it were, you are still there with it. This is forbearance, titikshā; this is pratīkshā – waiting with the whole of your being, for Him to come to you. This is devotion. It is then that you discover the alchemy of turning the difficult moments into moments of rapture. And so much is the fulfilment thereafter, when streams, nay, rivers of love unfold in your being – for you have waited and been with it, loyal, true and committed, and then the torrent has come. In that you have been truly and completely devoted. And the fulfilment that the soul feels then is incomparable to anything else. You have laboured honestly. And the fruits of honest labour are incomparable to any other taste. This is the bringing of depths to your life. Even though you may get restless in those difficult moments, know that is only the surface, while deep within your being you seek and await His coming – whose? – Your own face, which is God.

When you are waiting, what you express in yourself is trust. But then one may say, ‘I do not feel trust.’ Then it is better that one seeks the trust within one’s being rather than give in time and again to distrust. That maybe it is a lacking not necessarily in the other, outside, but in your own self. Have you considered? It is better to search and re-search, seek and re-seek where our trust comes from, and also where it does not come from – within our own being. Maybe then you will find the secrets of the Reality. Most times you will find that it has nothing to do with the outside, but with the state of your own being. You may be in the state of trust, so you trust. You may trust someone or something that is untrue, but because you feel trust, so you trust. And yet there can be many a moment when you distrust, for you are in a state of distrust, even though things be true and worthy of trust. Have you inquired, considered? The seeker always seeks, therefore he or she continues to find. The Reality is in you, whether it be one of trust or one of distrust or doubt. But doubt is in you, it is yours. So also is trust.

So it was with Judas. He trusted his own mind too much, more than he trusted Christ and his words, his insight and what he was. He trusted his own learning, his own reading too much – therein was the arrogance. What else could he do? Surely there was his heart too, but it was clouded over with the mind, with his knowing, with his learning, with his reading, with his scholarship. So Christ told him repeatedly, “Listen to your heart, Judas, not to your mind.” But Judas’s arrogance was, ‘Ah, Jesus is too simple to understand what I know. So I must help him in his work.’ This arrogance, this conceit, was a potion for disaster. He felt he knew more. But then you can see how much more he knew by where the story ends! And you know when Jesus says, “Go Judas, and do thy work,” he thought that Christ was agreeing with him, because he took Christ’s words literally to mean only just that, not realising that he was saying so much more that was not in words. For Judas only listens to physical words, sees only physical things. He has not the insight. He is too learned, too much of a scholar, too much in the mind. It does not mean there cannot be an enlightened mind, but that enlightened mind belongs to Christ, not to Judas. You see, in the end Judas gets fooled. They, the scribes and the keepers of the temple, say one thing to him, and then they deceive him. And he thought he was clever! Too clever for himself – for his own good! And in the end as if too clever for Christ as well, so to speak – or so it seems. For really Christ allows himself in the plan of Judas. The Master can work in so many ways, with each one in different ways at the same time. So with Judas, He tries to turn him to the way of seeing, but Judas is too preoccupied with his own way of thinking.

In the Gītā it is said: “Svabhāvastu pravartate”¹ – one acts according to one’s nature. And when the groove of nature is too strong, it is very difficult to come out of it. That is why the other day I said, if X would change, she would not be X anymore. Nature is such. To go beyond oneself, beyond that what one considers oneself to be, this would be the answer. So you have to open out within. It is such a struggle for the soul. It was a struggle for Judas too. What can you do? Christ understands and that is why he forgave him. Look at Simon Peter. One moment he says, “You are the Messiah,” the next moment he denies Christ three times. So would you say that Christ deserved on one side the trust, the moment of trust and also on the other the doubt, where he is denied? One moment He is confirmed, affirmed in his divinity – and not so many moments later he is denied three times by the same Simon Peter. So the lacking is in whom – in Christ or in Simon Peter? Of course, the arrogance is, ‘This is the way I feel.’ Of course, what else can you feel? You are only that much. Christ is so much more! There is the greatness of one that is Christ, the Messiah, in that he continues to carry them while they yet trust him not and there is the smallness of their mind that cannot see it, perceive it. This is ignorance. He continues to make room, give love, be compassionate and yet guides, whenever one’s trust allows one to be guided, and the chatter of the mind is quietened. So it is only after Christ is crucified and is gone, that Simon Peter repents, laments. It was so with Ramakrishna’s disciples also. After He left, they realised, ‘Oh, how foolishly we took him so lightly…’ That is why it is said familiarity breeds contempt. Nearness brings a veil to the eyes. That is why humanity always worships afterwards, what I call ‘fossilised figures’… They like to worship stone, not the living God.

So inquire if life is in conflict with God. If God was in conflict with life, then I would say, give up life. But then one would question: where did this life come from? And where is it going? What are you seeking from life; what are you seeking in life?

It is true that life is a maze and broadly speaking, life has two sides. One side does help you to find the secret of life, its fulfilment in the light of God, while the other leads you to the denial of it to crass arrogant materialism. Really, all of life can unfold the secret for you. The secret lies in your attitude and the way you live, what you live and how you live, so that you arrive at the secret of life and its fulfilment. It is always the kind of inquiry, the kind of attitude that will reach you to wherever it is to reach you.

Let the longing to know the Reality, to be the Reality, be like a constant flame burning in your life. And it need not exclude being playful. But while being playful, do not forget Him. For He loves to watch children play. For with the children He plays, with the arrogant He is arrogant. With the lover He is a lover. With the kind He is kind. To the friend He is a friend; to the enemy He can even be an enemy – not out of a reaction, but to show the mirror, and yet He is beyond all animosity. Even His love is free. He is not bound to His love, for He has no expectations: He is full in himself, and He is full in the other.

What can be amazing in life is that one waits and can wait for a boyfriend or a girlfriend or this thing or that thing for so long – and yet for God, for the Reality, even a moment to wait, to be in waiting, is seen to be not worth its while. That is why I say, in living life now the human is in conflict with Him, with God, because he is more for life than for God. Yes, he would like to have God but does not want to do anything for it. Therefore Christ says, “I am the bridegroom,” and to keep vigil so that whenever the bridegroom appeared he would not find you asleep. To find one asleep is one thing; to be arrogant and to close the door in the face of the bridegroom is even worse! When we are preoccupied with life, we are asleep to God and Reality – therefore life is in conflict with God. Leave alone that, in one’s arrogance one even slams the door shut in His face, not realising what you are denying yourself when He turns away from your door. It is amazing! He may be standing in front of you and you look over His shoulders, elsewhere… It is the strange ways of life and its ignorance. But it is so; the nearness and the closeness always breeds contempt, a covering of the eyes. That is why He has to be far. He would rather be near, but it is you who push Him away. So Christ accepted Judas, but Judas pushed him away forever.

When Rama with his army of monkeys was trying to cross the ocean to reach Lanka for the battle, they had to make a bridge across the ocean. So His army of monkeys picked up stones to make the bridge. With Hanuman leading, they started to throw them in the ocean by writing Rama on them. Lo and behold the stones started to float and join together and form a bridge! Rama too joined in picking up stones and dropping them in the ocean, but they all started to sink. This was truly amazing. While the stones dropped by the others with the word Rama written on them floated and joined in the ocean making a bridge, the stones dropped by Rama himself sank. So He called Hanuman and asked for an explanation, “This is very strange don’t you think? The stones dropped by myself sink and drown, whereas the stones you and the rest drop by merely writing my name on it, float and join up to make the bridge. What do you think could be the reason?”, He feigned. To this Hanuman replied, “There is nothing strange here my Lord. In fact it is very simple. Your name has so much power that it can make stones float, but that which you have let go and discarded by your hands can only sink and drown. That which you do not hold anymore, those whom you leave, they can only sink…”

So it was with Christ and Judas – Judas drowned. “There is no conflict,” continued Hanuman. “Those whom you have let go, they can only drown, they can only sink. When they are not held by you anymore, they drown in the ocean of ignorance. But even stones with your name on them float. So there is no conflict, my Lord. We are your devotees, my Lord, so hold on to us forever, please don’t let go,” Hanuman said.

It is one’s nature that can become a barrier between oneself and the Reality, God. This is māyā, delusion. It is the power of māyā that prevents you from being one with the Reality. This is the veiling. Come delusion, come confusion – and yet you are so sure of what you see, what you understand, what you know. That is why it is said with this mind you can never know Him. It is only when He reveals himself – then there is no arrogance, no conceit. In your arrogance, in your knowing, you never know enough. Like Judas, who was well educated and a scholar. That is why he had this arrogance that ‘I know more.’ And in the end you find that he knew nothing! What he knew were words that he read from books. This is not knowing. That is information you gather and most times it only covers up the reality, prevents you to see. So the only solution for Judas was to stop trusting his own mind and totally trust Christ. Therefore Christ says to him, “Listen to your heart, Judas, not to your mind.” Of course, Judas cannot believe, did not listen. Christ knew that Judas’s mind was a barrier between him and the Divine, unable to see what Christ was truly and to be one with the Divine. To read Christ through his own mind – that is real foolishness! That is idiocy. So then, Judas was fooled by his own mind.

The thing with the mind is that it can convince you that it is right. And you are so identified with the mind – your I-ness is there and that is the conceit, the arrogance. And therefore you become it, you believe it, you trust in it – and you can end up falling in a hole! Judas hung himself on a tree. Really, it is better to hang that mind from the tree than be hanging oneself from the tree! If he had hung his own mind before, he would not have been hanging from the tree in the end.

That does not mean of course to be mindless like the New-age philosophy that has come about in recent times, ‘no-mind’ philosophy which people mimic: they are full of mind and they talk about ‘no-mind’! There is mindfulness and there is mindlessness. Judas was mindless. When your mind is approaching silence then you really are mindful. When you have stopped having preconceived notions, then you are mindful. And it is amazing: if Judas had handed himself over, mind and all, into the hands of Christ, he could have done so much good work, being a friend to the Divine. But his mind would not allow it; his so-called intelligence would not allow it. Judas was too clever for himself and his own cleverness tripped him up.

So one has to keep reaching within oneself to bring about this inner awakening, to get in touch with this feeling within, this heart feeling, this longing that can keep you occupied in God even though you be in life.

There is an example – a story of one of the disciples of Chaitanya Mahaprabhu. He had disciples living with him in Jagannath Puri, as also he had other devotees elsewhere. Once when He was with his close disciples who were living with him, he started to praise highly somebody as if very close to him because he was such an exceptional devotee and God-lover. The disciples around Him who had given up everything were surprised, for they lived like he did: they begged for their food and lived a very frugal existence with whatever clothes they were wearing, and maybe a spare that they washed and dried – an extremely simple and austere life, all the time living in devoted meditation. And yet Chaitanya was extolling a devotee who lived far away from him, that too in great opulence and comfort, who kept himself busy with the affairs of the world. On one hand He would not give darshan to Pratap Rudra, because he was a king. When the king wanted to have a darshan of Chaitanya he refused him because he was a king living in opulence and so full of God-forgetting worldly life. And yet on the other hand here He was speaking so highly of this devotee, and this devotee lived in great splendour and opulence, great richness. He had a family and he had a big palatial house, he slept on thick mattresses, carpets on the floor, rich food, he lived his life very richly. So His disciples wondered. Chaitanya, of course, saw through them and said, “Well, why do you not go and see him?” So they decided to go and see him. They went to his house, knocked on his door and they were ushered into his room by a servant. As soon as they greeted him saying, “Govinda Govinda,” he immediately – even though sitting on a bed of silken covers and thick mattresses – fell off the bed in a swoon, tears flowing from his eyes. Hearing the name of his Lord he went into a deep intense state. And the disciples of Chaitanya were totally amazed. They said, “He lives like this but inside he is all turned to God. And we? Outside we seem to show we are all totally turned to God, but we do not have that kind of intensity. That is why Chaitanya sent us to him to see first-hand, understand and appreciate the nature of a true devotee.”

So also with Kabir, when Ramananda initiated him, Kabir said, “I will do this and I will do that,” meaning he would continue to live and work in the outside while at the same time continue to seek and search within with great intensity. So while he wove the cloth outside, within he was weaving with the strings of the love of God, eternal life. While he worked the loom outside, he was working the loom of love of God within. And there was no conflict.

So with this devotee of Chaitanya, from the outside one would find him to be a very worldly person, lost in the world, lost in life, never a thought of God, never a seeking after the Reality. No signs of holiness whatsoever, no beads, no ashes on the forehead, whereas the other disciples and devotees of Chaitanya, they wore torn clothes, went about barefoot, living in abject poverty, chanting all the time, remembering God. They were marked from head to toe as it were as devotees of God. But this one, outwardly he showed no signs but inwardly he was completely soaked, as it were, in it. Like you have pancakes soaked in syrup. Just the name of the Lord was enough, he fell off the bed in a swoon.

So while you work outside, work within. While you rejoice outside, rejoice within. While you love outside, love the Lord within. While you live life outside, live the God within. There is no conflict.

What Hanuman is telling Rama is that the devotee is held to God by his faith, by his devotion, otherwise he would drown, especially if God were to leave, let go and not hold on anymore, like the stones that He was dropping in the ocean: when he did not hold them anymore they sank.

Here is another story. There was a man who wanted to go to Lanka across the ocean. And he sought a solution to cross the ocean from Hanuman. So Hanuman said, “Okay, I will give you something and you will be able to cross the ocean, you will be able to walk over it and reach Lanka. But you must not look at it. That is the only thing. Maybe you can look at it after you have crossed the ocean but not while crossing it or before. Do not look at it until you have crossed the ocean.” So he got out a piece of paper and wrote something on it and gave it to him. “Tie it in the knot of your cloth and go,” he said to him. And go he does full of faith. Lo and behold, he walks on water crossing the ocean. He is walking and he is surprised, “Wow, I can walk on water!” He was halfway across the ocean when his curiosity overcame his promise to Hanuman. He wanted to know what was in this piece of paper. He could not hold back. He could not keep to his promise to Hanuman not to look at it while he was crossing the ocean. So he unties the knot and takes out the piece of paper, opens it up and finds all that is written in there is ‘Rama’! Immediately doubt crept into his mind, a little arrogance, ‘Oh! Only this?’ He lost his faith and he sank into the ocean. Because his mind came in, the faith was lost and he drowned. Hanuman knew that if the mind came in, the doubts would come in also and the power of faith would not work. The man did not have enough devotion and faith wherein he could have been given the word openly beforehand to cross the ocean. Therefore he was told not to look at it, because if he looked at it, immediately the mind would come in with all the doubts that live in the mind. And that is what happened. So halfway across he looked at it, and he sank because he doubted. Such is the power of faith which is of the heart and such are the doubts of the mind, doubts of the unenlightened mind.

Hanuman is therefore saying to Rama, ‘Whomever you give up, whomever you stop holding onto, they obviously will sink and drown. While all those, even stones that are held by you will only rise.’ Faith can move mountains; it can carry you across the ocean but the moment the mind comes in with its doubts, you drown, you sink. Even a small stone becomes too heavy to lift, leave alone the mountain moving for you. The mind is such a trickster. It can make you see the true as untrue and the untrue as true because there is an innate quality of ignorance in it. This is the unenlightened mind. It can make you see gold as faeces and faeces as gold. That is why it is called illusion, māyā. And yet you can be so sure that what you see is right!

Let flowers of love bloom in your heart, but love that is turned to God, to go beyond the arrogance of the mind. It is better that you doubt your own self than you doubt the Lord!

Be held by God and ensure that you are never left. For when God stops holding onto something, it drowns. It is better to trust the awakened one, the Buddha, than your own mind. We trust the mind because it belongs to us, even though it be foolish, therein is our conceit. It is better that you let go of that mind and drown it, rather than be drowned with it.

Seek the Buddha and be completely with him, in spite of the mind! Because your mind is limited in its knowing, therefore it can fool you; the mind of the Buddha sees unto infinity. Therefore is the Buddha awake and you are still asleep. Seek the love of the Buddha rather than seeking to compete with him, for you defeat your own purpose, for you can never compete with the Buddha. The only way you can compete is to be one with Him. The Buddha is your very being. It is better that you doubt your own mind than you doubt the Buddha. For to know the Buddha you have to be the Buddha; you cannot know him through your mind. Even through His words you can know him not, for you always misunderstand, misinterpret.

Let flowers of love bloom in your heart, so that the Lord may come and reside there, abide and manifest.

It is rather that you give up your mind and your relationships than you give up the Buddha – for to give up the Buddha is to lose your life, and to be one with him is to find it. The Buddha is the awakened one and to be in tune with him is to awaken to oneself. And to love Him even more than your own self is to even exceed the Buddha. You cannot compete with the Buddha. You can exceed Him when you love him more than you love your own self. That is the way to exceed the Buddha – of course not in the egoistic sense – that is the only way the Buddha can be exceeded; that is the way the devotee exceeds the Lord. When he loves God even more than his own self, then God becomes the servant of the devotee. The devotee has exceeded the Lord. The devotee has become the God of the God. Then the disciple has become the Master’s Master, the Buddha’s Buddha, the Beloved’s Beloved.

Let flowers of love bloom in your heart. There is no greater relationship than that one has with the Buddha, the awakened one, with God, for He reaches you to your self where you find eternal life. And therefore all other relationships follow from that. It is better that one gives up the world and its relationships and holds on to the Buddha than to give up the Buddha and hold on to the world and its relationships.

Keep your mind turned and tuned-in to the thought of God while you love with your heart – this is prayer. Let your life be a prayer and a meditation. And when you pray let it be meditation, and when you meditate let it be a prayer. And be full and complete in yourself. Do not seek the end of your journey. Be full in yourself and grow in intensity, for to seek the end of your journey is to grow restless. Rather grow restless seeking for intensity within. It is when you have awakened from within that meditation starts to happen by itself. Until such time it is the awakened one whose awakening brings it about in you while you continue to pursue and seek and put in your labour. The more the awakening process takes over, the more the intensity of meditation and reach. When you do not feel the meditation, it is because there are regions that are not yet ready and need to be dealt with – persevered – and therefore one is not aware.

One has to pass through various regions of the consciousness, so one has to keep oneself at it. And then when meditation happens, nourish it; be with it as long as you can. Then one day it will become your very own: you will have arrived at being the Buddha. You will then become the Guru. But beware that the disciples do not bind you in their idea of what a Guru is, chained by some concept. For it is true that those who are bound can only bind you. It is only those who are free who can free you. Those who are bound know only bondage; those who are limited know only limitations. Those who are free and soaring into infinity, only they free you and soar you into infinity. The Buddha-Guru is always more than what the disciples understand of him, for they understand of him according to the limitations of their mind. To understand Him truly you have to be him, meaning to find the Buddha-Self in yourself, to awaken from within and arrive at the way he sees, the sight that is the awakened sight. To know the Guru you have to become the Guru. And it is then that the Guru is gone. It is then that one can truly be a friend to the Guru… and not before, although you can try!

Arya Vihar

28 Nov 1998